The Neverland Wars by Audrey Greathouse
Published: May 9th 2016 by
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Magic can do a lot—give you flight, show you mermaids, help you taste the stars, and… solve the budget crisis? That’s what the grown-ups will do with it if they ever make it to Neverland to steal its magic and bring their children home.
However, Gwen doesn’t know this. She’s just a sixteen-year-old girl with a place on the debate team and a powerful crush on Jay, the soon-to-be homecoming king. She doesn’t know her little sister could actually run away with Peter Pan, or that she might have to chase after her to bring her home safe. Gwen will find out though—and when she does, she’ll discover she’s in the middle of a looming war between Neverland and reality.
She’ll be out of place as a teenager in Neverland, but she won’t be the only one. Peter Pan’s constant treks back to the mainland have slowly aged him into adolescence as well. Soon, Gwen will have to decide whether she’s going to join impish, playful Peter in his fight for eternal youth… or if she’s going to scramble back to reality in time for the homecoming dance.
This book came in my July Lit-Cube subscription, and I thought it was going to be very good based upon the summary. I like fairy-tale reimaginings, and I haven’t read one based upon Peter Pan yet this year, so I was excited to pick up this book. Boy, was I wrong.
Gwen is our main protagonist, who is supposedly 16 years-old. She might be 16 on paper, but she acted as if she was 12 or younger! This in itself bothered me a lot while reading the story. So after a lot of pages dedicated to letting us know that she likes Jay Hoek, and that while she doesn’t get the glamour of being an adult, as soon as he invites her to his party she is all about the teenage life. Before that, Gwen thought it wasn’t worth it and hated basically everything. She even described hormones to her little sister as “tiny bugs that start changing how you feel about everything and infect you with grownupness.”
To make everything worse, when Gwen came home and found a police car outside her house, her first instinct would be “oh this should be interesting!” Not, “oh I hope nothing serious happened to my family!” Her “curiosity” led her into the house to find out why the cops where there, and then her “curiosity” helped her get over her tears to ask her dad questions. All the while clutching her stuffed tiger to herself, but not close enough to her heart because there are boobs in the way now.
By the time her dad explained that only certain adults know about magic, and that it was to only be used in a certain way. I about lost it. “We’re more than $18 trillion in debt. Don’t you think it’s a little odd that a country so beyond bankruptcy continues to function and prosper?” I was like aljfsdaif?!
So needless to say, I could not finish this book after a few pages with the explanation that magic is the answer to the economy problem. I wanted to like it, I really did, but alas I just could not.
“There’s only one offender who fits this modus operandi.”